Such a lot has happened and is about to happen I don't know where to begin.
Apart from an apology. Yes, I'm sorry I have been so absent of late.
I had become very lax before, but the major foundation shaking moment would be when my Dad passed away. He had heart failure, and he knew it was a matter of time, but kept it fairly close to his chest. He had been particularly ill, then a short stay in hospital while they tried to sort him out as best they could. He came home and we kept him comfortable. His friend, from childhood had been in Australia visiting his family and flew back to be with Dad for a while. He was hardly back to his family again in Australia when we had to phone him and let him know Dad had died. I am still adrift, and can barely begin to understand how Mum makes it through days and weeks.
All things we do are tinged and coloured by him, what he did and what we think he might do in some situations.
None so much as this upcoming referendum.
I'm sorry to say that this is going to get a little bit political of nature and if you don't want to know the score, look away now :)
Dad was an SNP man most of his days, certainly he kept that quiet until I was about 8 or 9, the year of the previous referendum, where I had nagged incessantly that I wanted to know what it was all about. Imagine, a child with no clue about politics, but a firm sense of its importance even then. Then as the years after unfolded and finances became ever so tough, the scenes on tv as police clashed with miner's, people living on coal dust and fresh air... ravenscraig, the shipyards ever dwindling, car manufacturers disappearing....A bitter anger in my Dad, a banker, not someone who got his hands dirty, but a moral, ethical man, who had been described as a bastard, but a fair bastard, adrift and feeling cheated by his Government. A banker who had a breakdown as the rich grew richer and yuppies extorted the lifeblood out of the country. Politicians gave them pats on the back and lit another cigar and swigged brandy as their scandals ripped through the front pages, each one more sordid than the last, and the excesses of tory elite finally caught up with the nation and in stepped Blair and his Labour govt to the strains of Things Can Only Get Better. Except they didn't.
My Dad when he died no longer supported independence, and I never got to ask him why. I have to say though, he'd have been about my age the last time, and I am just as keen as he was then to see a democracy, just as willing to work with my countrymen to see it through, and happy to pave a future for my children. I can only hope that this time we are successful. That by the time my children are my age, and I may well be passed on myself, that they have a bright future.
'He who looks into the future, has a brighter future to look into'
